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Hypophrenia; Rubbish talksSunday, May 24, 2015 10:21 PM I think probably every human being get to experienced this feeling once in a while? And I guess mine was today! Actually I think it's probably the cause of my PMS as well, and my boyfriend... accumulate accumulate accumulate which ended up feeling like this :( Times when I feel like this, I like to wander around alone. I don't wanna see yiquan for awhile (not forever), you know.. just avoid him for a while and get some emo time so I didn't even tell him that I was heading out. I get myself changed for the longest time. Hate my wardrobe cause I have nothing nice to wear and I couldnt afford to get any new clothings. That's utterly sad... I look myself in the mirror trying to get a better style with my hair and I just hate it. It's frizzy, out of shape, puffy and it's just fugly zz.I find myself super ugly at that point :'( I don't know where to go cause it's a Sunday, all the parks and reservoirs will be packed with people and I want somewhere quiet. So I ended up taking a long bus ride to I don't know where. I mean I know where the bus goes but I just couldn't decide where to alight. Ended up at IKEA which is packed with people. Casually just walking around, looking at things, bakewares, human, flowers, frames, lights. Walk to ABC market to grab a drink for the freaking hot weather. I took another long bus ride to meet yiquan for dinner. For once he made a decision on where to have dinner, but still... the choice is still quite cock. He does make me feel better afterall <3 He never fail to compliment me and squeeze my fat cheeks every time he sees me. Though some times he calls me fat *stare* but I love it when he cover his hand around my mouth so that I can breathe in some yq's oxygen in me hehehe! Today is just moody and restless, so tired. Mentally exhausted i don't know why. He sent me to bukit batok though i wish he could send me to the door step but it was good enough. He has made progression. How I wish this could happen more often, more of the little gestures like during our honeymoon period :( It's been so long since he have sent me home to my door step.. Not even on valentines, birthday or anniversaries. I can't deny some of the weekends i really don't feel loved at all. Yes, he may be telling me he love me 24/7, but that's only verbally. I mean some weekends la, not each time. I really don't know whether is it because we have been together for so long that we are too comfortable with each other's company that we don't bother creating sparks in our relationship. I'm so tired right now, I could possibly be over thinking right now due to my PMS. I really miss our honeymoon period :( P.S I still love you to death, don't come telling me that I don't want you any more. |